Today in the school bathroom
When you gotta go, you gotta go. And I had to go.
I didn't have time to run to the staff bathroom because the students I work with just can't wait for me to walk the 13 miles there and back. So I opted to use the student restrooms. That, in and of itself is an adventure on a good day, because you never know who you will encounter and what they will say. And trust me, they always say something. Today was no different. Imagine the following dialogue spoken as one long, run-on sentence without breathing.
"Oh hi Mrs. B! I know it's you in there! I can tell by your shoes. Did you know you have really big feet? No one else in my class has that big of feet. No one. My dad says that ladies with big feet are intimate. (I assume she meant intimidating.) He says that means scary. My grandma packed my lunch today. She gave me 13 pieces of a hot dog all cut up. Because if she gives me it all at once, she's afraid I'll choke on it. I mean for reals! I'm like 9! I stopped choking on those 15 years ago! Can you see my socks from there? I'm wearing my favorite color. It's not really green and it's not really blue but it's a mixture of both. I had to wear them today because it is so fa-lipp-a-ing-a cold outside and these socks are made from the inside of a kangaroo's pouch. I promise! I don't make stuff up! My uncle bought them for me in Australia last year and he told me and he never lies. Did you like the snack they gave us today? I wish my mom would pack yogurt and honey and granola for my snack just like you eat every day. Doesn't it make your eyes squeeze shut though, when you eat plain yogurt? OK, bye!"
And before I knew what had even happened, she was off and I was left staring after her in a state of confusion and wonder.
I didn't have time to run to the staff bathroom because the students I work with just can't wait for me to walk the 13 miles there and back. So I opted to use the student restrooms. That, in and of itself is an adventure on a good day, because you never know who you will encounter and what they will say. And trust me, they always say something. Today was no different. Imagine the following dialogue spoken as one long, run-on sentence without breathing.
"Oh hi Mrs. B! I know it's you in there! I can tell by your shoes. Did you know you have really big feet? No one else in my class has that big of feet. No one. My dad says that ladies with big feet are intimate. (I assume she meant intimidating.) He says that means scary. My grandma packed my lunch today. She gave me 13 pieces of a hot dog all cut up. Because if she gives me it all at once, she's afraid I'll choke on it. I mean for reals! I'm like 9! I stopped choking on those 15 years ago! Can you see my socks from there? I'm wearing my favorite color. It's not really green and it's not really blue but it's a mixture of both. I had to wear them today because it is so fa-lipp-a-ing-a cold outside and these socks are made from the inside of a kangaroo's pouch. I promise! I don't make stuff up! My uncle bought them for me in Australia last year and he told me and he never lies. Did you like the snack they gave us today? I wish my mom would pack yogurt and honey and granola for my snack just like you eat every day. Doesn't it make your eyes squeeze shut though, when you eat plain yogurt? OK, bye!"
And before I knew what had even happened, she was off and I was left staring after her in a state of confusion and wonder.
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