Trappin'

Sometimes when Michael has to go check his traps, he brings us along. Just for the fun of it. And the ride. And to spend time together. And when I say "us" I usually mean me and The Bug because the two big kids are getting older and wanting to spend more and more time not with us. It's a sad thing, really. But we adjust. And we buy ice cream and eat it without them. 

Now. Where we live, it sometimes rains. Like today, for example. It's June 27th and it is raining sometimes. Sometimes the sun will tease us and peak through the clouds and go, "BOO! Now catch me if you can, suckas!"

This day it didn't only rain some times of the day, it rained mostly all the times of the day. You know what though? I forgot. See, it's really hard to type and come up with witty things to write when my 5 year old is standing right beside me screeching in my ear. 

Literally. 

Yes, she is screeching in my ear. 

She "really wants a fake mermaid tail. Cuz I don't have one. And Mommy, you can make me one because you have a sewing machine and can I go to Leya's house? Pleeeeeease? I'm so bored! Really bored. Mommyyyyyy. Mooommmmyyyy! Mama? I wanna play dress up. Can I? Mommy. Can I play dress up? Why are you not talking to me?"

OH. MY. GOSH. 

It's times like NOW that I wish I had sister wives. Seriously. I could be the one that takes advantage of the one who takes care of the kids and let her do all my motherly duties for an hour or two while I sit and indulge in an episode of Burn Notice and eat chocolate covered almonds. Just long enough for me to feel refreshed and ready to handle the meltdowns. 

Have you ever spent time with my Laynee? She is one special little girl. I adore her. I really do. She is super smart, and funny, and sweet. But boy howdy, when she is tired or hungry or bored (especially that last one) she goes from a sweet silly 5 year old to a  raccoon who has just been injected with iron and whine and has been held in a leg hold trap for the last 2 days with no food and water. Have you ever seen one of those? No? Well, you are missing out, my friend. 

(A little background on leg hold traps for those of you not married to trappers and interpreted by this non-trapping wife of a trapper. It is a trap that it staked into the ground and when triggered, holds the leg of its prey. Usually when coming upon an animal in a leg hold trap, you will find that it either has chewed its leg nearly off  out of spite, because hey! You can't leg trap an animal that doesn't have a leg! Or has gone mad from boredom because it can't go anywhere and why didn't you leave some literature to stimulate its brain? Basically it's just really mad at you.)

Right now, The Bug is quiet. She has been subdued by a piece of duct tape on her mouth. 

KIDDING.

She's trying to figure out how to get out of the ropes that have bound her hands and feet together.
KIDDING AGAIN.

She's staring at me with a stare so intense, it would win, hands down in a staring contest. And that's against people who have no eyelids.

NOT KIDDING.