Barnum and Bailey's they were not.

Usually when the circus comes to town you think, "Dumbo" and really expensive cotton candy. 

Or maybe that's just me. 

On both accounts, though, when the circus came to our town, I was not disappointed. 

There were elephants and really expensive cotton candy. 

As far as that other stuff goes, I was totally disappointed. 

I mean, really. 

I could have done all those aerobics and swingy things on our playset in the backyard.

 Here. 

At my own house.

For free.

BUT. I will say something about two things...

Thing number one: The elephants. 

I wouldn't know the first place to look for an elephant. 

AND this elephant you see above actually entertained us. 

For two whole minutes, nonstop. 

NONSTOP. 

That word is important when I tell you what it did to entertain us. 

Imagine a fire hydrant left open by the fire department when they are testing its flow, or whatever it is they do when they let the water rush out of it and flood the gutters. 

Got that image in your head? 

K, now turn it vertically so's the hydrant is on top and water is flowing downward out it. 

Now, replace the red hydrant with a pachyderm and you have our entertainment.
That there elephant peed, y'all. 

It peed so much and so...forcefully, that they had to put a garbage can underneath it just to catch it all. 

Not just one can, no. 

Two. 

Two garbage cans full of elephant pee pee. 

And then there was the pooping. 

Imagine...

Never mind. 

Don't imagine. 

I'm sure we all know that elephant dung is large. 

And round.

Thing number two: This dude.

I may have been slightly intrigued by him, but only because there was not one inch on this guy's body that wasn't pure, solid muscle. 

And believe me, with that outfit he wore, everyone was thinking the same thing I was, "I bet he works out."

When I remarked to Laynee how strong he was - cuz seriously. He was. 

He would have to be in order to hold his own body weight on one hand, upside down, on a spinning metal contraption for 6.3 minutes - she turned to me and said, "Whoa. He must be a dad."

Overall, I would not recommend going to an over priced, low budget, circus act unless they promise to make the elephants urinate. Which in that case you would - by default - be promised some real redneck fun because we all know what kind of crowds that will draw.
(We'll be sitting in our reserved lawn chairs on the front row.)