So long, new-ish old friend

I made the (surprisingly) easy decision a few weeks ago to close my Facebook account.

Hold up.

Before you go getting all up in my screen about it, let me tell you why.

You OK?

You need a paper bag for the hyperventilating?

Here ya go.

Easy now.

Just breathe.

Ready?

I couldn't handle the guilt and worry of knowing what 200+ of my closest friends were doing, 24  hours a day.

For example, if I checked in and didn't see an update on them in the past 30 minutes, I worried!

Like, why aren't they telling me what color their socks are now?

3 minutes ago they were blue, but maybe she changed her mind.

How can I match my earrings to her outfit if I don't know this?
Or how about when they were watching, waiting for the water boil so they would know the precise moment to add the pasta? Don't they know that a watched pot never boils?

And what if no one commented or liked their status? Then their feelings would be hurt and I would be to blame because I was one of the guilty party who didn't click "like". And the next thing you know, all that's left after the fire is the carcass of a once loved teddy bear.

I can't handle that kind of pressure!

But it was more than that really.

I guess I kinda like the old fashioned way of communicating.

You know.

By email.

Or even the archaic idea of a phone call.

I kinda like knowing that the information I am receiving is not being broadcast to the entire Internet.

It makes me feel special.

I'm selfish that way.

So don't take it personally. I mean no offense.

But please remember me when you post pictures of those adorable babies and your newest piece of furniture.

Also, if you are getting married, having a baby, changed jobs or simply feel like saying, "Hey," just know that I'll be drumming my fingers on my desktop waiting for my phone to ring.

 Or at least waiting for my email inbox to say "You have 1 new message."

I'm not dead.

I'm just not on Facebook anymore.

And I haven't missed it one bit.