The sun will come out tomorrow, right?

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What a day. It started out fine and dandy, but somehow ended up all wonky. And wrong.
I woke up with my alarm, and got the kids up. Normal.
Got them off to school and came home. Normal.
Made and ate breakfast with Laynee. Normal.
Picked up the house a bit, unpacked from our weekend away, and put Laynee down for a nap. Normal-ish.
But...
Instead of snuggling my baby(ies), I got frustrated and snapped at them.
Instead of happily helping one of them clean out a turtle cage, I did it grudgingly.
Instead of having a healthy well balanced meal for all to consume, I flung leftovers their way and if there wasn't enough to go around, I told them they could have cold cereal.
Instead of having a clean, organized home, it was cluttered and messy, thus contributing to the overall gloominess and dark cloud hovering overhead.
I did not want to read books to a toddler today.
I did not want to listen to any complaining today.
I did not even want to get dressed today.

I know all of us have these days. I know I am not alone in my feelings of frustration. My sweet kiddos did nothing different than they would do on any other day. It's just that today, I wasn't the mommy I should have been, and that bothers me. But do you know the worst part? I didn't want to do anything about it. I didn't want to fix it. I know they deserved more and needed more, but I just couldn't give it to them. Not today. Why today? I'm not really sure. Could be the rain. Could be that our summer is officially over. Could be that I'm having feelings of inadequacy for not being able to help with the income anymore. (I was let go due to company cutbacks 2 weeks ago.) Could be that now we have the stress (once again) of making our dollar stretch. Could be that I feel lonely. It could even be something as silly as my new-ish vacuum cleaner not working. I can't pin point it.
But I do know that tomorrow is another day. Tomorrow is within reach. Tomorrow sounds do-able. Tomorrow smells of freshly washed sheets and a clean kitchen.
Tomorrow feels like a soft, warm blanket fresh off the clothesline.
Tomorrow tastes like a cold, refreshing glass of ice water after a long, hard climb.
But best of all?
Tomorrow is not today.

Comments

Unknown said…
oh crap...ERMA that is all I have to say.....go with feeling like doo doo and then let it go... BTDT and still do! hugs anyway....
September 9, 2010 at 3:53 PM
Mandy said…
Emmy!!!!! I am right there with you. I have days like that quite a bit. Mine is a little different situation because unlike you, I do work, but I wish I didn't. I love you and your attitude about another day. LOVE YOU!!!!!
September 9, 2010 at 8:34 PM
Penny said…
Come on Scarlett! Pinch the rosy back in your cheeks, square your shoulders, chin up, slightly quint your eyes and use your pouty lips and say, "Tomorrow I will think of some way....... afterall, tomorrow is another day". If I have taught you anything in your life, it is that the sun will come up again tomorrow and you will always think of something new! mama loves you!
September 10, 2010 at 9:50 AM
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