When push comes to hug

sesquipedalianism \ses-kwi-PEED-l-iz-uhm\, adjective:


1. Given to using long words.
2. (Of a word) containing many syllables.
 
A few months ago, I went to a hockey game with our kids and some friends. Miguel wasn't home from his busy day at the "office", which is wherever there are wild animals that need some "takin' care of."
I was amazed by the fierceness of the players. They all seemed so...aggressive. And a little rough. Maybe kinda pushy, too. As always, whenever I see someone doing something that I am not familiar with doing, I try to envision myself in their shoes to gain a sort of understanding of how they do what they do: I pictured myself playing hockey. And folks, here's a little insight into my mind.

WARNING: you may not be surprised by what you read.

I'm trying to get to the puck so I can hit it with my stick into the goal, but there is someone in my way. They are not willing to move, so I ask nicely, "Excuse me, but I really need to hit this black circular disc into that net over there and to do so, I need you to move. Please?"

My opponent's response, "Oh, sorry. Sure. Here, I'll give it a little push on it's way and you can take it the rest of the way there."

"Thanks so much!", I would tell her.

Then we would hug and giggle together as we skate arm in arm off into the distance.

Can you imagine people paying to see a hockey game like that? It would certainly make for interesting psychological evaluation, eh? Imagine the players sesquipedalianism-ing, instead of yelling obscenities.I would probably attend just because of the large usage of words never heard outside of formal dictionary readings.

Speaking of sesquipedalianism, what the heck? Why is the English language so wordy? I mean, seriously, who invents these words? Why can't there be only one word for that word? Take the word "happy" for example. You can use, excited, content, pleased, glad, joyful, cheerful, blissful. Wha..? The list goes on.

Really?

Do you want to hear my reasoning for this? Regardless of your answer, I'm telling you anyway.

It's because of our ever increasing desire for bigger and better. Never satisfied with the simple. Always wanting more. It's a real problem in word land, people. And as a result, we will soon be worded to death. This language is increasing at an alarming rate and no one is doing a thing to stop it. So from here on out, I will use only the simple words. Words that will get my point across in as little amount of space as I can. That is my promise to you. Think of it as my contribution to the whole "going green" movement.

Ready? Here goes.

Ahem.

Make me cuppy cakes. Now. Please.

                                                                   Over and out.