Because we said so

I started writing this post about something that I needed to vent, but it would really have come out sounding wrong and this would quickly turn into a pity party that I didn't really want to host, let alone decorate for. So I deleted all I had written which consisted of a few four letter words and some name calling all of which are forbidden in our home and in some parts of Kentucky. Mainly because in Kentucky they aren't sure which part of the word to emphasize. And if you live in Kentucky and I have offended you, then please accept the following excuse as my apology: My 10 year old's money made me do it.
Which [sort of] brings me to my point (not the original one, but it will do).
Our son has decided that he would like to spend his hard earned money on a cell phone.

*crickets chirping*

Maybe you didn't read that right. I just told you that MY TEN YEAR OLD THINKS HE NEEDS A CELL PHONE. I don't even have a cellular phone. When we asked him what in the world he needed one for, he gave us many responses. Allow me to share a few with you, along with our reasoning on why we feel he doesn't need one.

Reason #1:
Hunter: "Because if I ever go on a really, really, really long bike ride and my tire gets flat, then I can call you."

Us: "The last time you went on a bike ride that long, was...wait...it was...now why can't I remember? Oh that's right. BECAUSE IT NEVER HAPPENED. Plus, your tire is already flat."

Hunter: "But I could go on a really long one now. Because I'll have a cell phone. And dad will fix my tire for me before I go."

Ha. Ha.

Reason #2
Hunter: "Like if there's ever an emergency when I go to the park and I need to talk to you right away, I can call you."

Us: "We live within hollering distance from the park in a small town and the only reason there would be an emergency and I hadn't heard about it already would be because I had conveniently been in the shower when the whole neighborhood had called first to tell me that my child had climbed up on top of the fire station because they were bored and there was nothing else to do." (Ask me later about this factual event.)

And this one is my favorite,
Hunter: "Because all of my friends have one."

Us: "Well, almost all of your friends have parents who both work and they have cell phones so their parents can keep in touch with them at all times. I already keep in touch with you all the time. Also, if you need to get in touch with me right away, just scream. That's a sure fire way to bring me runnin'. If for nothing else than to tell you to stop screaming at me."

Now this is where I might turn into my mother, and her mother, and all the other mothers in the world when they say, "Well if your friends jumped off a cliff, would you do it, too?" Although I think that one might backfire because my children might actually do it. Because there's nothing else to do.

Totally unrelated: (Well, not totally. Maybe a little.) One night (or maybe it was day) we were in the kitchen talking to Corrine about something and she started to complain that her arms were too tired. Or was it that she just didn't want to clean her room? It was probably a combination of the two. Anyway, Michael and I were so fed up with her dilly-dallying (Gasp! Those are words my mom used!) that Michael bent down on her level and got right up in her face and said, very sternly I might add, "There are kids in Haiti who don't even have homework." Ahh, that's what it was. She didn't want to do her homework, AND her arms were tired.
And people, it took all I had not to bust up laughing. Yep. He just went there. He pulled the "children in a third world country" card.
When we were little, it was starving people in Ethiopia.
But let me tell you, it worked. Then and now.
Do you think it will work on our cell-phone-wanting 10 year old?