I know there's a topic in here somewhere

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Lately I have been so bad at Wednesday's Word posts, that I'm sure you all thought I had forgotten about them. Well, you'd be...a little bit right. In the Wednesday mornings, I wake up and think, "Hmmm. Today is Wednesday. I should think of a really clever word for today. One that I can use all day long and when it is spoken from my mouth, people will look at me and think what a brilliant wordsmith I am."  And then I look in my email inbox and I see words sent to me from Dictionary dot com. Words like fatuous (\FACH-oo-uhs\, adjective: Inanely foolish and unintelligent; stupid.) and  ratiocination (\rash-ee-ah-suh-NAY-shun; noun: The process of logical reasoning.) or nonplus (\non-PLUHS\, transitive verb: To cause to be at a loss as to what to think, say, or do; to confound; to perplex; to bewilder.) and not to forget myrmidon (\MUR-muh-don; -duhn\, noun:  (Capitalized) A member of a warlike Thessalian people who followed Achilles on the expedition against Troy.) And I just can't help but go, "Huh?" because try as I may, I can't think of a single sentence that would mold around one of those words. Maybe it has to do with the fact that some days, the only other person I talk to is The Bug. And let's be honest here folks, toddlers are not known for their vocabulary appreciation. I could try my words out on Miguel, but I'm willing to bet that he sometimes cringes inside when he sees the caller ID and realizes who it is calling him. Again. It might have something to do with the fact that maybe I used up all my calling-him-at-work privileges because of that one time I found fleas on Laynee's head and I did the one thing that I am really good at: I totally FREAKED. I called him at work and our conversation went as follows:
"MICHAEL?! DO YOU KNOW WHAT I JUST FOUND? A FLEA. A FLEA! ON LAYNEE'S HEAD. WHAT SHOULD I DO? YOU'RE THE ANIMAL GUY. YOU'RE THE WILDLIFE BIOLOGIST. YOU'RE THE TRAPPER. COME HOME RIGHT NOW AND TRAP THESE CREATURES BEFORE THEY INFEST OUR WHOLE HOUSE AND CLIMB IN OUR MOUTHS WHEN WE SLEEP. YOU KNOW HOW I CHOKED ON MY OWN SALIVA LAST NIGHT AND IT CAUSED ME TO WAKE UP AND COSEQUENTLY WAKE YOU UP BECAUSE OF ALL MY YAKING? I'LL BET IT'S BECAUSE A FLEA CRAWLED INTO MY MOUTH AND WAS SWINGING FROM MY UVULA. SO GET HOME AND FIX THIS NOW. AND DON'T EVEN TELL ME THAT YOU WORK IN PREDATION AND DON'T WORK WITH INSECTS. YOU WILL TODAY." Click.

Whew. I was all worried I wouldn't be able to do a post today and my mind would be a total blank. But things worked out quite well, and I feel much better for it. Thanks, Bloggerland.

Comments

Tamara with a "T" said…
Fleas are nasty! So...finish your story! What did Mike do? And poor little Laynee Bug...she was probably freaking out because her mommy was freaking out. Ew...and fleas in your mouth? That's just gross. I love you maaa'am.
December 10, 2009 at 11:49 AM
Danielle said…
If I was a flea, I would swing from your uvula.
December 10, 2009 at 1:02 PM
Kevin and Carrie said…
So... totally random fact about the Myrmidons... They started out life as ants. Betcha didn't know that little tidbit of information did you?! Wanna know how I know? Fine, I won't tell you then. Ok just kiddin. I know it cause I took a Mythology class this semester and there was a test question about the Myrmidons. Cool eh? The end.

Frynest . Dat is da frynest piece of mateewial I've eveh seen.
December 10, 2009 at 2:34 PM
Unknown said…
ERMA: I am falling off my chair here in the office laughing and reading this to myself (about the flea story) and thinking, if I were Michael I would be tape recording all of your insistent calls and place them over an intercom at work...that would do it...the boss would actually let him go home anytime because he would think...geeze this poor guy has to live with that...gotta let him go home so he can come back with what really happened??LOLOL they would not believe him otherwise!
December 15, 2009 at 2:06 PM
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