Stinky Prince
Last night we watched Robin Hood Prince of Thieves starring Kevin Costner, Morgan Freeman, and that guy who plays Professor Snape. "Robin Hood-a! I'm going to cut your heart out with a spoon!" And let me just say, that other than The Little Mermaid, Napoleon Dynamite, Dumb and Dumber, and that one line from that one Ellen Degeneres movie, Mr. Wrong, where Joan Cusack and her on screen boyfriend come to threaten Ellen's character and Joan goes, "Want some gum in your hair?", (you'll have to scroll to the 6 minute mark) Robin Hood was one of those movies that I memorized and knew almost every line. In middle school, my best friend and I were constantly quoting it, and it seemed as though there was always an appropriate moment to break out the movie quotes. For instance, we (BF and I) were at the mall and I tripped over a crack in the tile. She sang to me the taunting tune that Christian Slater sings to Kevin Costner as he tries to cross the river in Sherwood Forest and Kevin ends up tripping on a rope that Christian and the Merry Men had put in place to keep others out. "There was a rich man from Nottingham..."
Even now I still quote the movie. Like when I see Michael for the first time after not seeing him for a few seconds because he walked out of the room, and he suddenly walks back into the room, I say, "Hello my lover." And he smiles. And I like to believe it has nothing to do with my shoddy impression of a British accent.
So while we were watching it last night I realized some things. First: it's probably not appropriate for kids. The sheriff's lust and disrespect for women, the blood and stabbing and chopping off, the devil worshipping witch. Yeah. Not kid friendly. Well, not my kid friendly. But they watched it anyway. (We'll discuss my parenting skills in a later post. A much later post.) Second: I still think Kevin Costner is hot when he's not talking. And when he's fighting Little John in the river, I love the face he makes. And at the end, when he and Lady Marian come together for their final embrace, and they kiss... (fast forward to 8:13) well I wasn't quite swooning, but if you were to have looked at my face, you would have seen a huge smile. I was totally caught up in the moment. In the back of my mind, however, there was a nagging thought. Remember when Robin and his gang are infiltrating the courtyard to try to stop the hangings that are about to take place and Robin bends down, grabs some fresh horsey poo poo and rubs it on his clothes so as to deter the guards? Well, it just dawned on me last night that throughout the whole final embrace scene, he hasn't had time to change his clothes or take a bath. He's still wearing the same pants that he rubbed doo doo on. And Marian kisses him anyway. *dry heave* I would have totally made him wash up a bit before wrapping me in his arms and therefore transferring the stench onto my clothes. But that's just me. And that's probably why I didn't get chosen for the part. Well, that and the fact that I was 13 when the movie came out.
Even now I still quote the movie. Like when I see Michael for the first time after not seeing him for a few seconds because he walked out of the room, and he suddenly walks back into the room, I say, "Hello my lover." And he smiles. And I like to believe it has nothing to do with my shoddy impression of a British accent.
So while we were watching it last night I realized some things. First: it's probably not appropriate for kids. The sheriff's lust and disrespect for women, the blood and stabbing and chopping off, the devil worshipping witch. Yeah. Not kid friendly. Well, not my kid friendly. But they watched it anyway. (We'll discuss my parenting skills in a later post. A much later post.) Second: I still think Kevin Costner is hot when he's not talking. And when he's fighting Little John in the river, I love the face he makes. And at the end, when he and Lady Marian come together for their final embrace, and they kiss... (fast forward to 8:13) well I wasn't quite swooning, but if you were to have looked at my face, you would have seen a huge smile. I was totally caught up in the moment. In the back of my mind, however, there was a nagging thought. Remember when Robin and his gang are infiltrating the courtyard to try to stop the hangings that are about to take place and Robin bends down, grabs some fresh horsey poo poo and rubs it on his clothes so as to deter the guards? Well, it just dawned on me last night that throughout the whole final embrace scene, he hasn't had time to change his clothes or take a bath. He's still wearing the same pants that he rubbed doo doo on. And Marian kisses him anyway. *dry heave* I would have totally made him wash up a bit before wrapping me in his arms and therefore transferring the stench onto my clothes. But that's just me. And that's probably why I didn't get chosen for the part. Well, that and the fact that I was 13 when the movie came out.
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