Sometimes...

...I lay in bed at night, unable to sleep, and my mind wanders. It writes blog posts, adds up the day's hours spent wasted/spent well, worries about blanket-less children in their beds. It travels to memories of days gone by and sprints forward to days yet to come. It thinks of things I could be doing, should be doing, am doing, and don't want to do. My mind has a mind of it's own. Sometimes just trying to tame it is exhausting. I wonder how Señor puts up with the not so occasional awkward bursts of uncontrollable word vomit and blank stares that sometimes accompany the running of my mind. A gem, he is.

Tonight (or this morning, depending on how you look at it) my brain took me to a conversation overheard at the beauty salon.
An overly bubbly woman entered the shop. She was clearly in her mid to late forties, but her hair was completely grey. Not one strand of any other color was on her head. It was beautiful hair, but that's not the focus of this post. The only reason I make mention of her hair color and apparent age is to draw attention to the fact that this woman was not in her twenties, though she clearly (judging by her dress, makeup and body language) was wishing to be. She must have known the salon owner on a personal level because this was their (or rather, her) conversation:

Not twenty year old: Whatcha doin'? Facebookin'? Oooooooh. I love Facebook. It's sooooo much better than MySpace.

Salon owner: Not really. I'm--

Not twenty year old: I'm soooooo addicted to Facebook. I even have a whole farm! It's totally cool! Hey I sent you a friend request and you never confirmed it! Why don't you confirm it now, while I'm here so you don't forget?

Salon owner: Actually, I'm trying to--

Not twenty year old: Oh! And then I'll invite you to be one of my biggest fans! I started my own fan club. You should totally join!

Salon owner: Ummm--

Not twenty year old: And once you're my friend, let's make up some funny way of how we know each other. I saw this spoof of Facebook on youtube and they did that. It was hilarious!

Salon owner: Well, maybe I'll get to that later. First I need to book a flight to L.A. My best friend's husband just passed away from cancer, and I want to be there to support her.

(awkward silence)

Not twenty year old: Ohhh. Sorry to hear that. Maybe you should put that on Facebook. I bet you'd get a lot of people telling you how sorry they are for your friend, and that you are a great person for wanting to be her rock during this hard time.

Seriously, people. I could not have made this up to sound any more outrageous. I was so glad to be chomping on some gum at just then. It saved my lower jaw from dislocating from my upper jaw as it would have done, had it been allowed to fall open with alarming speed and strength from the audacity this woman possessed. Unfortunately, the gum did not prevent the eyes of nearly all who heard her from bugging out of their heads. It was truly a sight to behold.

Just promise me that if I ever get to that point, you'll bind my fingers together, and duct tape my mouth shut so as to prevent me from making such a spectacle of myself.