Out of the mouth of Corrine
Today as I was sorting through my clothes and purging my drawers and closet of things that no longer fit me, look good on me or have gone out of style, Corrine looks at a pile of bathing suits that I'm not "allowed" to wear anymore and goes, "Mom, how come you don't have any two piece bathing suits?"
"Because they don't look good on me."
"Ohhh. I know. Like when girls who are old like you - I mean as old as you - they shouldn't wear a two piece because they're stomachs are all wrinkly and stuff and they kind of stick out a little bit. It's soooo not cute. But like with Aunt Tamara, she's a lot younger than you and her stomach doesn't do that yet."
Right.
"Corrine, Aunt Tam is only a year younger than I am."
"See? She's younger than you. That's why, Mom."
Nevermind that my waist line resembles the circumfirence of the Earth and that it became that way because I birthed her and her two siblings. Nevermind that everyday I sacrifice my own health for that of my children by eating all the junk food in the house so that they can have healthy, delicious, nutritious meals free from HFCS. Nevermind that it's their fault I don't have time to work out anymore because I am so busy planning and fretting over their welfare! Thank you so much, dear daughter, for bringing me back to reality. I sure appreciate your brutal honesty.
And now the whole world knows that my body does not resemble the body of my youth (or pre-children years) and now resembles an eggplant with its middle cut out and replaced with a huge raisin.
"Because they don't look good on me."
"Ohhh. I know. Like when girls who are old like you - I mean as old as you - they shouldn't wear a two piece because they're stomachs are all wrinkly and stuff and they kind of stick out a little bit. It's soooo not cute. But like with Aunt Tamara, she's a lot younger than you and her stomach doesn't do that yet."
Right.
"Corrine, Aunt Tam is only a year younger than I am."
"See? She's younger than you. That's why, Mom."
Nevermind that my waist line resembles the circumfirence of the Earth and that it became that way because I birthed her and her two siblings. Nevermind that everyday I sacrifice my own health for that of my children by eating all the junk food in the house so that they can have healthy, delicious, nutritious meals free from HFCS. Nevermind that it's their fault I don't have time to work out anymore because I am so busy planning and fretting over their welfare! Thank you so much, dear daughter, for bringing me back to reality. I sure appreciate your brutal honesty.
And now the whole world knows that my body does not resemble the body of my youth (or pre-children years) and now resembles an eggplant with its middle cut out and replaced with a huge raisin.
Comments
P.S. ur stomache dosent wrinkle up TRUST ME!! (not that i know)
ummmmm BI???????!
P.S. Little Emily's comment is pretty much the funniest comment I've seen in a long time. Trust me. (Not that I know.)
queraste