Curious kids = a broken toe

It started with Daylight Savings Time. The kids wanted to know how it all began, so I looked it up in our Handy Answer Book for Kids (and Parents). We read about it's start and the reason for using DST, which prompted the kids to want to read through the whole book and quiz eachother on little known facts such as "What is a booger?" and "What is bioluminescence?" They were having such fun that I decided to grab a book of my own and dive in.
My story's main character is a maid for the rich and famous in New Orleans. And while reading about her detailed description of cleaning out a client's fridge, it made me think of my own fridge and how badly it needed to be cleaned. Not being able to ignore the yuck in the back of my mind that I knew was a direct result of the yuck in my fridge, I grudgingly put my book down and began the task of Refriderator Purging.
As I was prying the homemade and unintentional science projects from it's shelves, my attention was drawn to the garbage can which was now overflowing with gack.
Closing the refridgerator door, I tried to remove the jam packed garbage bag from my garbage can. No small task, just ask someone whose seen us try to empty it.
Once it was free, I took the bag outside to the big garbage can and on my way there, I caught site of the sorry state of my patchy lawn. It being Fall and all, I figured I should winterize the lawn right about now.
After applying winterizer, and while putting away the broadcaster (the thingy that spreads the granules around--not a satelite dish! duh.) I notice a HUMONGOUS spider lying in wait just above my head. Ummm, yeah. I maybe screeched a little bit and scared it back into it's hole.
Well, I wasn't going to let the bugger get away with stalking me so I grabbed the Raid and sprayed the rest of the bottle up in there. Which now meant I had to wash the residue off my hands because if the cops came a knockin' they wouldn't be able to prove I did it.
Back into the house to wash when I spotted a load of laundry literally at my feet. How I missed it on the way out, I'll never know, and ugh! this is getting wordy!
So I'll be a bit more brief.
Grab the laundry, load up the washer.
Notice we're out of soap.
Go to car, retrieve new bucket of soap from trunk and see a flat tire.
Pump up tire with air compressor from trunk.
Back inside to wash clothes and see baby balancing precariously on top of washing machine.
Arrive just in time to catch baby and drop bucket of soap on baby toe. My baby toe.
I think it's broke.
Or bruised.
But all I could think was, "Stupid Daylight Savings Time."