Chirp

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Today I wish I were a bird.
Because a bird doesn't have to clean throw up off their hardwood floors. Or fold the laundry 18 times while trying to distract a toddler from ruining all the nicely folded piles of shirts, pants, and sockies. Birds don't have to pick up after their dogs when said animal has decided, yet again, to drag the trash out into the yard and bury it in a freshly dug hole in the middle of a once beautiful lawn. Little birdies don't have to rip all the smoke detectors out of their sockets because they won't stop screaming: "BEEP! THERE'S SMOKE IN YOUR HOUSE! BEEP! GET OUT NOW! BEEP! I'M MAKING YOUR BABY CRY!" all because I forgot to open the flu and smoke was billowing out the fireplace.
This might be where you would point out to me the downside of being a bird. You must regurgitate your food for your baby birds, sing the same song over and over and over again all day long, and you must, as a female bird, be less colorful and therefore less attractive than your male counterpart.
Yes. I am aware of the cons of being a bird. Let me remind you that I already regurgitate my food (well, not really, but my little one does steal the food right out of my mouth sometimes). I already sing the same song over and over and over. And over. All day long. She loves to play Ring-Around-the-Rosies with Barbie dollies. And as far as being less colorful in appearance than my male counterpart? Psh. Whatever. It's my daydream. I can make it what I want.
Oh, and who can complain about not needing to find a private place to go potty. It's just whenever, wherever. Know what I mean?
The only problem is figuring out if the wings I made from the left over turkey feathers in our shed will keep me airborne once I jump off the roof of the garage.

Comments

Unknown said…
Erma, I couldn't have said it better! I once went crazy trying to find the BEEEEP that no one in the family could hear except ME! The beep slowly, VERY slowly began to fade...after searching the entire house and I am not exagerating....for WEEKS....then suddenly, Micheal, was sitting on the sofa in the living room one day, we never sat in the living room......and as he LOUNGED onto the sofa, he sat on something hard, yep, the darn smoke decector that ONE NIGHT IN MY sleepyness, when it was beeping and ONLY I could hear it, disarmed it from the attic tv room....and placed it under the sofa cushion......to muffle the beeping sound. And because I went to work everyday, and just shrugged off the beeps at night because I thought I was going crazy....I forgot about it! YEP the ole smoke decector started beeping loud and clear....we never laughed so hard.....I think I peed my pants laughing!
November 18, 2008 at 3:41 PM
Vicky said…
less colorful? whatever!! If you are keeping your personality Psh not a problem!! uhmm and if you ever need it, we have an extra porta-potty! hee hee
November 20, 2008 at 10:57 PM
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