Alternating between patting myself on the back and banging my head against a brick wall
Did your dad ever try to explain certain "lessons in life" to you, but your mind was too busy wandering to pay attention? Wandering about, "Oh. My. Gosh. Dad. Seriously? Like, when will I ever have to replace a garbage disposal, or have to dig a (hard) plastic spoon out of it all the while holding a flashlight in the crook of my neck and using a screwdriver to try to rotate the blade with one hand and using pliers to yank on it with the other hand? Seriously, Dad? Seriously."
Ummm, maybe today would be that day.
I even saw the demonic spoon earlier this morning and thought to myself, "I better nab that little creature before it spills into the disposal and gets jammed." I ignored the voices in my head and went about my other homemaking duties. When I finally got around to doing the dishes, I flipped the disposal switch and heard it hum instead of grind. Not good. So I thought I would reach down and grab whatever was stuck in there. Shutting off the switch, I stuck my hand in the drain, and swallowing the vomit that erupted in my throat, I found the culprit. But there was no budging it. Try as I may, even with me standing on the counter hunched over with the pliers clenching the spoon tightly, and yanking with all my strength (I'm pretty strong now, cuz I work out) the stupid thing wouldn't give. So I took the whole thing apart. 3 hours and 17 minutes later, I had it out. In three separate pieces. I only had to dry heave 4 times. Now the tricky part was putting it back together without it leaking. No prob. It was put back together in less than 45 minutes and I even managed to turn it on and grind away the guck that was my friend for the better part of an afternoon. One problem: It leaked.
I figured out where the leak was coming from, took it apart once more, only to find 3 size-of-the-diamond-in-my-ring holes in the side of the bugger. #@!*&!!
Called Dad, he told me what to do. Hauled the thing I am now calling Lucifer to the local hardware store, bought some JB Weld apoxy stuff that is "indispensable for mechanics, farmers, homemakers, and almost everyone!" for $5.99 (we don't pay sales tax here. neener, neener, neener), applied it, and am now waiting for it to dry ("must wait and let dry overnight before putting object to use").
I'll update y'all tomorrow. In the meantime, aren't you proud of me for being so resourceful? I didn't even cuss once. I may have thrown a garbage can and other under the sink items in my frustration. But hey, I made sure the kids were in the other room before my temper tantrum erupted. That's called being safe and knowing where you're shooting.
Ummm, maybe today would be that day.
I even saw the demonic spoon earlier this morning and thought to myself, "I better nab that little creature before it spills into the disposal and gets jammed." I ignored the voices in my head and went about my other homemaking duties. When I finally got around to doing the dishes, I flipped the disposal switch and heard it hum instead of grind. Not good. So I thought I would reach down and grab whatever was stuck in there. Shutting off the switch, I stuck my hand in the drain, and swallowing the vomit that erupted in my throat, I found the culprit. But there was no budging it. Try as I may, even with me standing on the counter hunched over with the pliers clenching the spoon tightly, and yanking with all my strength (I'm pretty strong now, cuz I work out) the stupid thing wouldn't give. So I took the whole thing apart. 3 hours and 17 minutes later, I had it out. In three separate pieces. I only had to dry heave 4 times. Now the tricky part was putting it back together without it leaking. No prob. It was put back together in less than 45 minutes and I even managed to turn it on and grind away the guck that was my friend for the better part of an afternoon. One problem: It leaked.
I figured out where the leak was coming from, took it apart once more, only to find 3 size-of-the-diamond-in-my-ring holes in the side of the bugger. #@!*&!!
Called Dad, he told me what to do. Hauled the thing I am now calling Lucifer to the local hardware store, bought some JB Weld apoxy stuff that is "indispensable for mechanics, farmers, homemakers, and almost everyone!" for $5.99 (we don't pay sales tax here. neener, neener, neener), applied it, and am now waiting for it to dry ("must wait and let dry overnight before putting object to use").
I'll update y'all tomorrow. In the meantime, aren't you proud of me for being so resourceful? I didn't even cuss once. I may have thrown a garbage can and other under the sink items in my frustration. But hey, I made sure the kids were in the other room before my temper tantrum erupted. That's called being safe and knowing where you're shooting.
Comments
Seriously, I wouldn't have thought of doing all that, (me lazy bum) good thing you had listen to you papa uh?