Last second Wednesday's Word

lachrymose \LAK-ruh-mohs\, adjective:
1. Generating or shedding tears; given to shedding tears; suffused with tears; tearful.
2. Causing or tending to cause tears.
Summer is quickly approaching. Although to look out my window right now, you'd never know it. I WANT THE HOT, ALREADY!
Now that that's out of the way, let me tell you about our recent trip to the grocery store. A trip that when I make on a good day, I despise. Am I alone in this, or do you, too, feel the need to make a cardboard sign that says, "WILL DANCE FOR FOOD", only to avoid entering the chaotic atmosphere that is our grocery store?
Feel free to insert lachrymose wherever applicable.
Today, the kids had dentist appointments. So naturally, I took them. I even went so far as to gather their spare change for a trip to Wal-Mart, afterward, if they were good. (Yes, I bribe my children with Wal-Mart. It works.) They were super well behaved little angels while at the dentist, but the second we walked out the door and into the parking lot, they started bickering. Over a slugbug. Corrine says, "Slugbug red!" And Hunter goes, "But you already called that when we got here. You can't double call a slugbug." So Corrine says, "OK. Slugbug recall." Then Hunter's all, "Slugbug red!" Of course Corrine isn't about to let Hunter get this point so she complains, "You can't call it! I already did and you can't share points!"
And this all made perfect sense to me. I, too, would be T. O.'d if someone called the same slugbug I did and expected to get a point for it! So I intervened. "GUYS. IF YOU DON'T KNOCK IT OFF, I'LL MAKE YOU BOTH CHANGE LAYNA'S DIAPER."
Silence. Blissful silence. For approximately 14.6 seconds.
They started back up again when I told them where our next errand would take us. "But Maawwwwmmmm! Sherm's is stinky and full of grumpy old people." They love going as much as I do, but I made them go, nevertheless. Remember the Wal-Mart promise? It was still in place. But only after we'd done our shopping. I'm smart like that.
I will spare you the boring, frustrating details and simply highlight the best parts.
I got so flustered, that I forgot to get, like, 13 things on my list. At one point, I leaned in toward Hunter and said, "I'm this close to pulling my hair out! Please behave!!" Maybe I shouldn't have said that because he goes, "Sweet. DO IT. DO IT. DO IT!" When I finally told them we were "not going to WAL-Mart for sure, now!!" I got a weird reaction. They turned into cherubs. I wanted to kiss them and hug them and call them mine. Corrine helped with the bagging of the groceries. (Because you have to bag your own. It's how they keep their prices so low, don't you know?) Hunter entertained the baby, who by this point was beyond tired and hungry and letting all in hearing range know it. We got to the car in record time. AMAZING.
Only after we got in the car, buckled up, and started driving away, (in the opposite direction of Wally's) did I get the reaction I had expected earlier. My kids did not disappoint. Wailing and gnashing of teeth sounds mild in comparison to what I was dealing with. Ahhh, but again, I was not let down. Sweet Layna decided this was worthy of mimicking. She copied Hunter sound for sound. Sniffle for sniffle. And blink for blink. It was hilarious. The older two thought so, as well. Soon we were all laughing, and they finally admitted that I was in the right to withdraw their Wal-Mart privileges. Well...they were happy, at least. Maybe tomorrow we'll try it all again.
In the meantime, this looks like a good dance to start practicing in case someone actually takes me up on my cardboard offer.